Beautiful Disaster.

YSunday, March 05, 2006
okaayyy~~..so what could prolly be goin smoothly in my life rite now?
NOT SURE.

one thing's for sure..i've met a weird but cool high-maintainance brat known as Mr.D who's never failed to make me luff...*smilez*
AND that im finally leading a routined life cycle doin the same old shyt everyday.
that's smooootthhh aint it? TSK.

i havent really faced a meltdown accept for that one time the poor fren of mine had to put up wit my coldness..HAHAHA. im not sure what could be up wit me somtimes and neither am i sure if im happy at all.but im fine.i know i am.a lil lost but fine.

there's been talks abt this guy and me amongst my sis and her frens..
and i hate to admit but i had feelins fer him.
being all "suave", potraying that "responsible" vibe wit charisma of the "man of my dreams" *puke*...
NOTHING beats the feelin of silence from him fer like months and then outa the blue u just see one phrase at the famous FRIENDSTER that reads,
"in a relationship" double bollocks my heart sorta sank for God knows why and then a pinch of dissapointment [bloody jerkoff] just creep up ur nerves. i was really kinda thrown aback. and i admit i got a lil carried away....HAHAHA.
cuz i have always only been "the girl whom he talks to when he's bored" ..heh.now, im calling myself a goon fer bein blinded.
but aint it oh so natural.haha.*wink*

but then i got slapped right back to reality and realised..that girl whom he's "in a relationship" with is kind of a 'bomb diggidity'. a girl that i know people like him will go for. sooo...im not exactly at a lost.
ALTHOUGH i am a whee bit sad cuz he was all i ever talked about..yakked about and am proud bragging about..
im sad cuz i duno what did i see in him after so much realisation of the way he treated me last time.HEH.i was sooo blinded.

i've learnt one thing though- that well..he's no different after all and sis sha is right about him. and i know tat typical male wit typical male mindset will not go for someone like emylin.hahahaha.
oh well...leave it to fate. im in no rush fer any kind of relationship neways. =)
_callous_ was here with you at 12:23 PM .

Emylin
The Ride

this life is all about loving and losing. sacrificing and hurting.
being dissappointed in just about anything including urself.

this is life in my eyes.

- an unbearable excruciating painful hurt and experience that kills.
life in living is like death in dying.
where u live with a purpose and u die with a cause
all of which reasons hurt
and none of which will give u the happiness that u deserve.

yes i am fickle and yes i am a hardcore depressed chic.
but no.im no bimbo cuz i apparently make use of my brain cells 3/4 of my waking hour.
dun mess with me.